The third part of the “After” series from my China trip!
Flights are booked, visa is granted (presents still must be bought…). In a week I will be in China for a whole month and I wanted to share some thoughts with you. When I come back I want to see if these concerns were reasonable or not.
My general problem is overthinking. Whenever I have a decision to make, I think about it for a ever. No matter how small the problem is.
This one particular character trait runs strong in my surroundings. And I hate it.
“The Game” by Susan Christensen
Please don’t expect a cheesy Valentine’s Day article from me. I’m not good at this…
When I was in my hometown during the holidays, I met my best friends. We know each other since school! One of my friends has trouble in her relationship for so long already (they are a couple since 3,5 years). I don’t want to go into detail but let’s say they fight more than they have “good days”. I am already quite sick of their relationship because they always fight and she cries about him but goes back to him…
I was never to type of person who sets new years resolutions. I want more short-term goals. Therefore, I will continue with my monthly recaps!
This week a family member passed away. I haven’t spoken with this person in over 15 years. It wasn’t a person you want to surround yourself with. I don’t want to go too much in detail because I think you shouldn’t speak negatively about a person who can’t defend himself anymore.
When I heard of the news, I had to cry.
I wasn’t sad about this person’s death, I was sad about how he wasted his life.
Why did I choose a pretty flower instead of fall leaves as this months main picture? Because this September was an extension of summer! It was still so warm and flowers were blooming in the garden!
Here are my answers for September:
Recently, I was watching a documentary about Confucianism. I always heard that if you want to understand China, you have to understand Confucius. It is basically the moral, ethics and behavioral code of Chinese people since thousands of years. So I started reading more about it. The bottom line of Confucianism is the community. In western societies individualism is the quintessence. Who am I? What do I want to do? But in Chinese society it is important to blend in, to be a part of a functioning nation or group of people. Living well with other people, respecting your parents and ancestors and therefore becoming a good person, are the most important aspects about Confucianism.
Did you ever wonder why Chinese people usually travel in huge groups and everywhere you go, you never see one Chinese person but a group? Confucianism is the answer. They enjoy being in a group. They don’t mind being with a lot of people were we rather travel individually with maximum our family or couple of friends as companions.
I don’t want to go too much in detail about Confucianism at this point. I still have to learn more about it and want to write a separate article about it.
There is something I haven’t shared with you in my Reality of an International / Binational Relationship article.
Today I met Alice to study together and in a break we talked a bit about our relationships. She was previously in a relationship with a guy who was just like her and it made her crazy. (If you don’t know Alice you can read this post.) After two years they broke up. Now she is in a relationship with one of our classmates who is the total opposite of her. When the rumor of their relationship was spreading around, everyone react the same: “Whaaaaat??!! How can they date????”
Alice is a perfectionist, our classmate is pure chaos. She told me that this relationship is a nice and refreshing change.
I would like to start this series where I evaluate a month and answer some questions. I thought that weekly recaps would be a bit too much. The purpose of this series is to remind myself of the highlights of my month but also to work on myself and focus on things I want to improve or should pay more attention to. Writing down my goals, impressions and experiences each moth will help me to track my improvements and motivate me to work on myself.
1) What made you happy?
My 3-year anniversary with my boyfriend (do you want to know more about our binational relationship?)
2) What frustrated you?
One word: Terror
I moved in with my boyfriend in October last year and let me tell you, we had several arguments since then. Before we moved together, we were a couple for about 2.5 years. I lived at my parents’ house and he lived by himself in a shared apartment. Now we study at the same university at the other side of Germany and live together in a two-room apartment.
So far so good.
And now the reality of living together with somebody kicks in. Since living together I know that a relationship is work.
You think you know each other, but you actually just really know a person if you live together.