Why is it so difficult to ask for help? Well, you have to admit that you don’t know something (and in our perfectionist world everybody is supposed to know everything) and asking for help doesn’t just involve yourself but also the time and effort of somebody else.
And you guessed it, the picture was (again) taken in Sweden 😉
I wrote this text on the 4th of July but never published it. You can read it and guess why I didn’t publish it (I’m going to tell you why anyways at the end of this article):
I would like to start this series where I evaluate a month and answer some questions. I thought that weekly recaps would be a bit too much. The purpose of this series is to remind myself of the highlights of my month but also to work on myself and focus on things I want to improve or should pay more attention to. Writing down my goals, impressions and experiences each moth will help me to track my improvements and motivate me to work on myself.
1) What made you happy?
My 3-year anniversary with my boyfriend (do you want to know more about our binational relationship?)
2) What frustrated you?
One word: Terror
This post is a little update about what happened this week and what I learned from it.
This week was physically not easy for me. On Monday and Tuesday I had a course which required attendance (from morning till evening) and I had a graded presentation on Tuesday. But it was so hot and humid on Monday that I felt like I would faint. I was sitting in class and “listening” to other presentations but the whole time I was busy not to collapse. I couldn’t think, I was nauseous, my legs and arms were shaking, I felt dizzy, I had to hold my head up with my hands since it was too heavy. It was so stuffy in the room…
As long as I can remember I thought I am a perfectionist.
I liked getting things done, getting them right and getting recognized for it. I always did my homework in school and university, studied well for every exam and was the “leader” in group work.
But it got to a point where I got problems. I couldn’t hand in my assignments or homework because I thought I could have made a mistake or the assignment wasn’t good. Before an exam I was afraid that I didn’t study enough.
At this point I asked myself why I want to do everything perfectly. It’s not because I genuinely enjoy things being done perfect, but because I fear of not being good enough. I fear of failing and regretting handing in a bad assignment or getting a bad grade. Maybe it would ruin my grade average and my future.