Ugh, it seems like I love to push myself and bring me in new uncomfortable situations. I’m actually embarrassed that I can’t cope with the situation and have to write this article…
Warning! You are going to “hear” me whine and spin in my negative thoughts!
It all started on Tuesday when I saw a flyer for a job on the weekend. The wage is good and since we want to go on vacation soon, a little more cash can’t hurt. I was super motivated and my boyfriend and I applied for the job. We got the job!
The realization: I never worked in that field before. Panic! I’m not nervous, I panic! It actually really disappoints me how I react to this new situation. I thought that I improved and could handle my fear better. I don’t want to react this way anymore!
I try to find excuses to quit the job. I’m swaying between
“I can do it! It’s only for a couple of days! If you don’t like, you never have to work there again!” and “I can’t do it! It’ll be too hard for me. I don’t even want to try! I will fail! But quitting is also failing!”.
I have to say that the second one is my natural reaction to new situations. The thing is, it would be okay for me to quit because I don’t like the job, but it’s not okay to quit because I’m scared that I’m not going to be good enough.
I can’t stop thinking about the job and imagine all kinds of situations and how I would react to them. But that is completely useless! I try to distract myself with uni work (and writing this article).
My mantra fot the moment to calm me down:
If it turns out that I’m really “not good enough” for this job, no problem, I don’t want to work in this field for the rest of my life anyway. Maybe I could even turn out be a natural talent in that job! You never know if you don’t try it out!
P.S.: Next week I can hopefully write a positive résumé of this weekend…
Update: Read my résumé here!
picture from pixabay.com