The Fear of Missing Out

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–THE FEAR OF MISSING OUT–

Didn’t we all exerience the peer pressure in school or university?

“What?!! You are not going to the party on Friday? You are missing out!”

When I was teenager, the fear of missing out was more present than now. I couldn’t enjoy a Friday night at home because I knew that others had more exciting plans. But that is quite odd because a chill Friday night was exactly what I wanted and I couldn’t enjoy it!

I didn’t want to go to a party but staying at home was also not satisfying. 

 

–THE REALIZATION–

I feel now that I am in my mid 20s this fear dramatically decreased. You want to know why? Because I don’t give a sh*t what other people do! I don’t live their lifes and I never will. I can do (or not do) whatever I want and it is nobody’s business to judge that.

My life is not worth less just because I don’t go on big adventures, parties, festivals, concerts etc.

I just don’t like all of these things. I did these things before because of the fear and peer pressure. I thought I needed to do what is called “normal” in our society and be a “normal” teenager/young adult. But I didn’t enjoy it and now I don’t give a sh*t about what is normal. I don’t have a guilty conscience or fear of missing out anymore.

 

— THE FEAR OF WASTING MY TIME–

Andreaandcoco’s article actually inspired my to write this post. She wrote that instead of having a fear of missing out, she is scared of wasting her time.

“I want to write so many posts,watch movies,read books,binge some series,write and play wih my cat-and all of that at the same time! Sometimes i don´t even know how to start and then the day is already gone. After that i have sometimes days where i just want to sleep.”

The fear of wasting my time just affects me university-related. Last year was really stressful and I somehow forgot how to relax. When I was watching TV or reading a novel, I had a guilty conscience because I should rather do some uni work. I was wasting time I could use to improve myself and get work done. I am still not good at keeping my mind off work in my free time…

Since handing in my big project at New Year’s Eve, I don’t really have much to do for uni anymore. Except for a Chinese exam, I don’t have to study anymore. (No more exam in my life!!!!) I have a lot of free time and I love it! I don’t have the fear of wasting my time in my free time. Of course, I don’t want to chill all day long and lay on the couch but whatever I do, I do it without a guilty conscience.

I want to be free in my free time and I can do whatever I want!

If somebody wants to play videogames all day long in his free time, is he wasting his time? No, because he simply can do so if he enjoys it! I might not be able to read 5 books a month but I still enjoy reading just 1 book! This doesn’t make the one book less important/enjoyable.

Why should I read 5 books stressfully if I could read 1 book easygoing?

What about you? Are you afraid of missing out or wasting your time? Or both?

picture from pixabay.com

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11 thoughts on “The Fear of Missing Out

  1. I totally feel the same way. During school I never could relax without having a guilty feeling that some homework isn’t done yet or that I could have studied more for an exam. Especially, on a Sunday if I just want to read or spend the time on the couch, I get the feeling I’m wasting my time. Since my graduation I tried to start enjoy my free time more before uni, but it is really hard not to think about the upcoming challenges.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I used to have the same thoughts about missing out on something. But actually I have tried many out most of the stuff you are supposed to be doing as a student and young adult during my first study period a way back. Except for excessive alcohol consuming, drugs and smoking. But somehow people arround me still gave me the feeling of not being active and thus social enough or even boring. Is if partying going out all day long is THE WAY to live.

    There are different lifestyles and I can’t change the way I am. I prefer reading books in my spare time, watching movies, playing games, cooking, snuggling with my cat, watching cat videos, crochet, watching tv series and so on. But I have overcome these guilty feeling of missing out.

    Not so much the wasting my time feeling though 😉 Still working on it.

    Best wishes and interesting topic.
    Flora

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I absolutely LOVE that part:
    I feel now that I am in my mid 20s this fear dramatically decreased. You want to know why? Because I don’t give a sh*t what other people do! I don’t live their lifes and I never will. I can do (or not do) whatever I want and it is nobody’s business to judge that.

    You’re so right, I don’t have to justify why I am not going out tonight or whatever, because it’s my own business. I know that fear of missing out something, but whenever I joined a party or another event, just because I wanted to avoid that I wouldn’t be able to have a say in something, nothing extraordinary happened and it wasn’t worth it. Life’s just too short to do things that I don’t really want to do. And if I can use my time more effective by reading a book or studying, I will do that if I think it’s better for me.

    Refering to the other part of your text, concerning that feeling that you waste your time if you ignore your To-Do-List for university, I have to say that I experienced it in the same way. But I learned that it is important that you sometimes just switch off. We are not made for studying and being effective 24/7 and even if it was really hard for me to learn that by doing stuff I want to do and that I enjoy I don’t waste my time, I finally learned it. Meanwhile I can relax, lay back and enjoy my book, even if I know that there’s still much work to do, because everbody needs a time out sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

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