This week a family member passed away. I haven’t spoken with this person in over 15 years. It wasn’t a person you want to surround yourself with. I don’t want to go too much in detail because I think you shouldn’t speak negatively about a person who can’t defend himself anymore.
When I heard of the news, I had to cry.
I wasn’t sad about this person’s death, I was sad about how he wasted his life.
There is not even going to be funeral for this person because no one would attend it. How sad is that if at the end of your life nobody wants to show you respect and bid farewell? He pushed everyone who loves him away.
Lessons I learned from his life:
1. Love is most important in life.
Love people and be loved. If you can’t even overcome your own pride for the sake of your loved ones, you lost at the game of life.
2. It doesn’t matter what somebody said at some point 20 years ago.
Families split because of little matters. Brothers and sisters stop being in contact and the cousins don’t understand why it’s forbidden to play with each other all of a sudden.
3. There are toxic people in this world and you have to push them away from yourself.
Sadly, this sometimes involves family members. Do you think you have to fight for your family, make it work no matter what? If you ever encountered a horrible, abusive, manipulative and violent person, you doubt that you share the same blood. Cross that person out of your life if they are not willing to make a change.
4. Be independent of your spouse.
I never want to be a stay-at-home-mum because I want to be financially independent (in the present and retirement because a single stay-at-home-parent is destined to be poor in retirement). I want to earn my own money in case I have to leave my husband. I don’t want to stick to an abusive man just because I can’t afford living on my own. Choosing between abuse and poverty shouldn’t even be a question.
5. A lonely life is a miserable life.
Nothing is more miserable than living a lonely life because you destroyed every relationship with people who really tried to forgive you and tried to start all over again and again and again and again until they gave you up.
This person couldn’t live in peace but I hope this person can finally rest in peace.